Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Operation Purity has been aborted
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
