Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize
