She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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