I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
