hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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