So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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