you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
