well you can't waste a boner
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
