we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
