I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
