soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
