somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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