Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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