I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
