how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
