I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
