i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
