Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
