Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
