i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
40s are totally the cure
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
