She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
