are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
