I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
