why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
