Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
