I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
