Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
