the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
