Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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