The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
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