i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
