Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Randomize
