omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
