Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize
