I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
