Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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