Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
