My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I have grass duct taped all over my body
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
