Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Michael Bay diarrhea
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
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