if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
