Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
