; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
