He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
