You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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