maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
