He is an equal opportunity slut.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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