he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I think people are normalizing furries
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
