1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
