So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
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