from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
