well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
