Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
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