I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
