ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
