I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
