Don't EVER smell your tampon
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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