At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
